This Monday, Uncover an Iceberg: Look Beneath the Surface of Your Anger

Things aren’t always as they seem, right? Make Monday about discovering what’s really going on when we lose our cool and get angry.

Anger makes your heart race, gets adrenaline pumping, and creates a surge of energy. If you get repeatedly angry, it can negatively impact your heart, your immune system, and your overall health. Getting angry is exhausting and stressful, too. It wears you down.

The Anger Iceberg (see full infographic below). According to noted therapist and author, Dr. John Gottman, anger is rarely about being angry, it’s more like an iceberg. What’s going on below the surface, concealed by the anger? It could be covering up harder to recognize raw feelings like sadness, embarrassment, or shame.

In the heat of the moment, you might not be able to find your cool but, at some point, try to take some time and do some deep breathing, which will allow you to reflect.

Deep, Belly Breathing to Find Your Calm. Set aside a few, or even up to 20 minutes. Put your hands on your belly. Inhale, filling your lungs and belly, while slowly counting to 7. As you breathe, place your awareness on the breath, on your belly, or on the air moving in and out. Exhale, while slowly counting to 7.

Save the final minutes to breathe normally and allow yourself to reflect on why you got angry. What is below the surface, under your iceberg? This reflection could result in less stress so you can be better prepared when those harder to detect and more vulnerable emotions come up next time.

Monday is for uncovering what’s below the surface. Using deep breathing, learn how to regain your balance, get to calm quicker, and stay healthy longer.